Do Pass Go
by Nothorse
Summary: When Millicent Bulstrode had to run from Hogwarts in her seventh year, she would never have dreamed where she would end up – and with whom. (HP Beholder for Alisanne)
1. Workouts

"Do you mind if I use the machines?"

The speaker was a rather tall girl, solidly built. Dudley took a break from the punching bag and welcomed her in, as graciously as he could with his gloved hands.

"Not at all", he said. "there's room enough for two. I'm Dudley Dursley, by the way."

"I know", she said. "Potter's cousin."

Dudley nodded and went back to his combinations. He snuck a look while she expertly set up the leg machine and got in. She set the weights to a decent amount, a little less than he would, but not by much.

"So what did you do, to get exiled here?"

She looked at him blankly.

"Me, I'm my cousin's cousin. Jane and Robbie have the wrong type of parents. Dedalus and Hestia have been sentenced to babysitting and Rolf is here until he recovers from whatever they did to him. So: You?"

He waited while she was silent for a while. Just before he started to say something she spoke.

"I threw a classmate from the astronomy tower."

Dudley stared.

"He was having entirely too much fun practicing the torture and mind control curses on a second year girl. So I paralyzed him, carried him up to the tower and threw him over the railing. I did end the petrificus on the way down."

The girl continued her exercise. "Unfortunately someone saw me, so the Headmaster got me a few supplies, apparition coordinates and a head start. And here I am."

"Wait," said Dudley, "the Headmaster? I thought he was on the other side?"

"Well, he's not", said the girl. She grimaced. "I didn't know that either, before."

"Ah." said Dudley, not knowing anything else to say.

They fell silent again and continued their work-out.

Dudley finished first and as he left for the shower, the girl said: "I'm Millicent Bulstrode. Just so you know."

Dudley smiled. "Nice to meet you. See you again tomorrow, same time?"

"Sure," she said, "Why not. Don't have that much else to do."

The third time they met in the exercise room, they got to talk. Millie – she reserved Millicent for people she didn't know or like – told him bits of her past, of growing up on a farm, being pureblood and being too big and not rich enough to be one of the princesses.

Dudley – just Dudley, he had cast off his old nicknames as he didn't like the guy he was then and the less said about the names his mum bestowed on him the better – told her about Smeltings and boxing. He never mentioned his cousin or the current war and neither did she.

Over the next two weeks they got closer. Neither felt much kinship with the other exiles. Dudley still felt out of place as a "muggle" and Millicent was wary of resentment as a pureblood.

They did talk about school in general. About his unexpected aptitude in maths and his sudden enjoyment of learning things. She told him about the wonderful library at Hogwarts and the treasures to be found there. He told stories of his math professor and how he seduced him into the beauty of algebra and calculus. They skirted around the things they had agreed without words to not talk about. He told her of his nightmares after the dementor attack. She mentioned the tentative friendship with Hermione Granger over old books.

Dudley started to teach her how to work the punching bag, how to hit right and protect her fists. They shared a laugh about Millie's "duel" with Hermione in second year.

Millie showed him the basic dance gymnastics she had learned when her body had started to grow faster than her ability to move it gracefully.

And if there were accidental touches while they were assisting each other, neither made a mention of it.

They graduated to inexpert kisses and groping quite easily and almost accidentally. Neither talked about it, it just seemed the natural thing to do.

Their first time was sweaty, fumbling and rather short. But as they lay side by side they both agreed that it had been a) literally fucking brilliant, b) they had much to learn about this, c) more practice would help immensely and finally d) that they didn't have any pressing matters right now, so the additional practice should start right now.


	2. Revelations

Millicent had skipped two workout sessions and Dudley was worried. At first he thought she was finally tired of him, but when he didn't see her at mealtimes either, he grew concerned.

He found her in the small library of the safe house. She was sitting on a sofa and stared into space.

"Millie?" he said.

"Millie? What's wrong?"

She turned to look at him with a pensive expression.

"I think I've found out what your cousin is doing. And it's bad. And if that weren't enough, I found out that the Headmaster is a terribly ruthless bastard. Worse, a completely justified ruthless bastard. Also he seems to think that just because my initials are Emm Bee, I'm Modesty Blaise. Unfortunately I'm still Millicent Bulstrode. No international thievery in my background. My family's perhaps, but–"

"Hunh. This is going to be difficult. I'm decent at boxing, but I'm pants at throwing knives. And how do you know so much about a muggle comic strip?"

"Oh, Dad cuts them out for me," she said with a wave, "He reads the Evening Standard to keep up with the muggle world for business. And for the record: I'm glad you're not Willie. Because Willie never had something with Modesty."

Dudley hesitated. It was the first time one of them had spoken out in that regard. "We have something then? I mean, we never talked–"

"I–" said Millie. "I think so. I want to, anyway. But if you–"

"No," he interrupted, "No, that's, that's perfect. I'll just have to be your Not-Willie then."

Millie giggled. "Are you really, really sure, you want to be not willie?"

"I didn't mean it–" He blushed brightly and then started to laugh, too.

"Not-Garvin, then." he said catching his breath.

"Not-Garvin it is." she said, still giggling.

"What's the exact problem then?" he asked.

She finally calmed herself and then she laid out everything she had read in the small notebook she had finally found the courage to open two days ago.

Dudley listened as she explained it all for him. How his cousin had a prophecy on his head, how the dark lord guy had split his soul, how Harry was looking for the parts and even worse, how Harry himself was one such part and probably would have to die before it all would be over.

It took them the best part of the next week to completely collate all the information. Finally after the evening training he had insisted on continuing, he asked the question that was on his mind after the first load of information. "What exactly does your headmaster think you can do? He gave you the notebook for a reason, so what does he expect?"

"I don't know. Maybe he just wanted one person to know, in case it all went to pot. Maybe he expects me to actually kill your cousin, if the dark lord can't finish the job."

Millie got off the machine and went towards the shower. "I really don't know. It's not as if I can do a whole lot here in hiding."

"My dad's an asshole, but he gave me one good piece of advice: If you don't know what to do, make a list break it down into steps and then break those down into the smallest possible actions. That way you get a grip. Helped me a lot with planning for my exams. It all gets less overwhelming that way."


	3. Plans

Unfortunately it seemed as if Millie had been right. There just wasn't a lot they could do in their hiding place. Going out was seriously discouraged and the resources inside the safe house were rather slim.

So they made do with renewed vigour when exercising to be at least as bodily fit as possible.

Millie had taken to reading titles from the Hogwarts Library index for amusements.

So far their favourite had been _"Fowl or Foul? A Study of Hippogriff Brutality"_

Dudley usually listened with half an ear, while he was working the punching bag and snickered or commented when appropriate.

Something caught in his brain suddenly.

"Could you repeat the last three or four, Modesty?"

"Of course. _Gargling Gladly. Dental care for the elderly_, _Paint your police box blue_"

"Stop. That one. What's it about?"

"Doesn't have a subtitle. Wait a moment, I'll check the abstract." Millie grabbed her wand, tapped the book and waited until the pages had flipped to the right place.

"Huh?" Millie looked closer. "This could be something. Listen: A fundamental treatise on the nature of time and the possibilities, potential and inherent danger of navigating time counter-directionally and in large increments."

"Time travel? That's possible?" asked Dudley with wide eyes.

"On a small scale sure." said Millie. "Granger had a time turner a few years ago. Only works for a few hours, though. But this book seems to be about larger trips."

"So we could go back and maybe fix things?"

"Let me read the book first. Could be purely theoretical."

* * *

The next morning Millie steered him into the library after breakfast.

"According to the book it's possible to travel to any point in time you have already been." she said excited.

"If you've been there, what's the use then?" Dudley wasn't yet firing on all cylinders.

"Think man!" Millie took him by the shoulders and shook him. "Anywhen you've been means you can go back years and years up to the time of your birth."

"Oh." said Dudley. "Oooh! You think we can make that work?"

"I'll have to re-read the book, I only skimmed it yesterday. Then I'll have to see how we can actually make it work. But the ideas are sound. In theory it should work." Millie said.

"I want to move to theory," he muttered, "Everything works there." muttered Dudley.

It took three days of Millie reading and using up a whole stack of parchment for her notes until she finally sat up. "This will work. This has to work"

"If you're sure. Just answer me one question: If this works, why aren't we knee-deep in time-travellers then?"

Millie hesitated for a moment then counted out on her fingers, "Because the theory is rather new, it came from a muggle-born who nobody took seriously, it's hard to get all the materials, because as they say bad things happen to wizards who meddle with time? I don't know. But I do know it should work and we will do it."

"OK. Say it does work? When and where will we go, and what will we do there?"

"We'll go to 1981 and to Willingham in Cambridgeshire. There we buy a house and then we'll steal your cousin from your parents and– " Millie paused. She looked at Dudley for a long moment. "I'm assuming here, with the _we_. I'll do it alone, if you can't–"

"I can," said Dudley. "For one, I won't let you do that alone, and for the other, when Harry saved my life, I did some thinking, and here I did a lot more. I want to make this right. So, we get Harry, and then?"

"Then we bring him up right, give him a decent childhood. And I get my Modesty working. We'll try and find a few of those soul-pieces and give Harry a head-start."

"Good." said Dudley. And he meant it.


	4. Money

"We will need money. A good bit of it." Dudley said, while they were scouring the house for parts to their wonderful TARDIS. At least that's what Dudley called it in his head. He still wasn't entirely clear on how the whole thing would work, but then he wasn't exactly the brains of the outfit, he knew that.

"Yes, we do. And some source of Cadmium." Millicent is going through her lists.

"Does it need to be pure? And how much?" Dudley asked.

"Not much, a few gram will do and I can purify it myself." Millie answered checking off a point.

"Great," said Dudley, "You can check that off then, I just need to find my walkman. The batteries are nicad, there should be enough of it in there. Now about the money."

"I thought about looking up lottery numbers." said Millie. "But that might be to random and might be different even with the first step we make, so I thought about treasures found between then and now, but I have no idea where to look for that."

"Can't you just magic up money?" Dudley interrupted.

"No, goblin money is protected and muggle money has those serial numbers. And unless we want to stay on the shady side, most money needs to be traceable on the muggle side. Taxes and such. It won't work."

"What do we do then?"

"Well we get the lottery numbers anyway, just in case."

"Could we steal it? Should be easy with magic, shouldn't it?" Dudley asked, surprising himself.

"Steal?" Millie wrinkles her brow. "That's. That's actually a good idea. We can't just steal money. But small, easily sellable things? That should work. The wizarding authorities only get involved if it's blatant and the muggle police make a fuss." Millie was thinking out loud.

"Let's keep it in mind unless we have a better idea. But only until we have capital." Millie said. "For afterwards I have a perfect and easy plan. We just buy antiquities in a bad state and fix them up."

"Huh?" said Dudley, not quite caught up.

"Look, it's pretty easy to repair things and make them last longer, or renovate them. Most wizards only need shopping for things they don't have at all. Once you have something, it's easy to make it last. So we buy up things in a bad state, so we can get them cheap, repair them, polish them up and sell them."

"That's, that's brilliant." Dudley said.

For a moment though his face fell. He tried to school his face immediately, but Millie had noticed.

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry. I just had a Mum-moment. I feel a little useless. It's all so easy with your magic and I'm just the muggle brawn."

"Dudley?" said Millie.

"Yes?"

"Shut up. I want you by my side. Got that?"

She stopped him from replying with a finger on his lips and then replaced it with her own lips.


	5. Names

"We'll need names." Millie said, while stirring the potion she had been working on for the last week.

"Yours is easy, Modesty." said Dudley, watching here while winding copper wire around a wand they had found while ransacking the house.

"Don't be stupid, Dudley. The strip has been running for a while. No, you'll need a new first name. Actually I can stay with Millicent and use Blaise. It'll only be on my faked birth certificate anyway."

"…" Dudley looked up from his wire. "Why don't you need a last name?"

"Because I'll be Millicent Evans as soon as it counts. Do you have a middle name?"

"Yes," said Dudley, still confused. "Martin. Dudley Martin Dursley."

"Martin. Martin is good. So Martin and Millicent Evans. Sounds good doesn't it?"

"Wait, Martin and Millicent Evans. Explain?"

"One" Millie counted of her fingers.

"One: We need to be both related to Harry to steal him away from your parents that night. The Headmaster left me notes how the protection charms work."

"Two:" she continued, "for the adoption it's easier if you're officially related. Then there's no problem with custody. So you'll be your own uncle."

"Three: If Dumbledore actually checks up on Harry and finds us, there'll be a lot less questions if we're both Evanses."

"And four: I kinda like the idea." she blushed a bit.

"Did you just propose to me?"

"Somehow. Yeah. I guess I did."

"Then I accept." said Dudley and kissed his fiancé.

When they broke apart, Dudley wondered, "Say, we'll need to fake quite a few papers for that, right? Do you know how? Because I sure don't."

"There's a few standard spells for that." said Millie. "I'm not supposed to know them, they're reserved for the ministry. But they're in the Library." She patted the large volume.

"The ministry has spells for faking paperwork?" Dudley was slightly dubious.

"Sure. Wizarding families usually don't have muggle documents and if you need to go to the muggle world you can apply for muggle documentation."

"If you can fake paperwork, how about insurance policies?"

Millie's eyes lit up. "Yes. That should work. I'll check, but if it does, it would fix our money problems."

"That's what I thought." said Dudley. "We'll just have to keep it low enough so it's routine."


	6. Travel

After a month of scrounging, brewing, carving and collecting supplies, they were finally ready.

"We're done." Millie looked at large rock in the woods where they had carved their circle. "Are you ready? Because I'm not."

"Want to cancel the trip?" Dudley put an arm around her waist.

"No. Yes. No. I don't know." Millie sighed. "It should be Granger and Potter making this trip. "They have all the information, they'd know exactly what to do."

"But they're not here. Nobody has heard of them in while. Not even Potterwatch knows anything. So it has to be us. And if the only thing we manage is a better childhood for Harry, maybe that'll be enough."

"It may have to be. It may have to be." Millie straightened her back. "To-night then?"

"To-night" Dudley kissed her.

The circle was laid out in copper wire, the symbols drawn in spray-paint, the potion was running in the groove Millie carved out of the stone. While Dudley held tightly on to her within the circle, she moved the copper-wound wand and chanted the words.

And while Dudley held on for dear life, the copper around them was melting and a shimmer sprung up enclosing them and the sky was hidden behind blue flames and he was getting dizzy and he was keeping his hands around her waist and the fire washed over them and then it was over.

They both collapsed on the weathered rock, a rock absolutely pristine and untouched.

"Welcome to 1981, Mrs. Evans" Dudley said.

* * *

They spent the first weeks on the continent, establishing them both as the children of wayward world-bumming parents. His father was created to be the recently deceased Albert Evans, older brother of Harold Evans, father of Petunia and Lily. Albert Evans left England on a freighter a few years before Petunia was born and bummed around the world. He met a nice girl in South Africa, had a boy with her and when his feet itched, he took the two-year-old with him. They slipped a nice hefty life insurance into the books in Spain and planned to cash it out in Germany.

"Won't the wizard police notice that?" Dudley asked.

"They don't care about muggles here in Spain. Would be harder in the german states, but they won't check pure muggle papers. At least in 1996 they wouldn't, but I guess that didn't change much." Millie was well schooled in the intricacies of muggle bureaucracy. Her father made quite a nice living navigating the cracks.

A little later they slipped a birth certificate into the registers of a sleepy little town in the Toscana and Millicent Blaise was born, the daughter of a nice girl from England that had one lovely night to many and left before her parents got wind of it. They established her as a nice woman, single mother, who spent her time teaching english to hard-headed brats across Europe until her car crash a few weeks ago in Turkey. Millie didn't have a life insurance, but her mum had a little nest egg of jewelry nobody would miss, so she sold it and went back-packing across Europe.

They officially met in Munich, where Martin Evans was wrangling the paperwork to get his payout from the life insurance. It was a whirlwind romance and while the prejudices against muggles weren't that much better in wizarding Germany, the magical government came down hard on any overt expression. It was relatively easy for them to get their marriage papers.

They got married in a rather dry ceremony in a small office. They commandeered two workers in the office as the witnesses german law requires and left half an hour later as Mr. and Mrs. Evans, British nationals duly married in Munich all their papers and identity in order.


	7. Homes

A few weeks later they were back in England. They carefully kept under the radar of the Wizarding World, mindful of the fact that right now, right there the Dark Asshole was at the height of his campaign. Millie found a nice cottage outside of Willingham near Cambridge. Why exactly she was so keen on that specific place, she wouldn't tell him.

"It's a surprise", she said. "You'll see in a while." And then she wouldn't say anything more with that sweet little smile.

Dudley cleared out the shed. Things potentially for sale in one corner, trash in the other. They just stored everything, both thought it was to risky to do magic right now.

"I wish we could do something about Harry's parents." Dudley said as they were sitting on their patchy sofa after dinner.

"If we could, we would, love" said Millie, pulling him close. "But–"

"I know. I know. We don't even know where they are, the secret thing is already done. And nobody would believe us anyway. It's just. It's September and it's all coming closer and I'm not sure we'll actually do any good and–"

"Shh" said Millie and put her finger on his lips. "We will do great."

"You know", she continued, "it's strange. I know about all of the heartbreak and I'm still looking forward to having little Harry here. Never thought I'd be the maternal type, but somehow it feels right."

Dudley turned to her and softly kissed her. "You'll be great mum. And I'll do my best not to be my Dad."

* * *

They had spent Halloween quietly at home. Neither Dudley nor Millie were very talkative, they were both thinking about what was happening at that moment in Godric's Hollow.

The morning after they went over the nursery again, checking the bed that would be soon occupied by their child/cousin.

When noon came around, they packed up and got into the VW Campervan that Dudley had bought cheaply from a neighbour. The drive to Surrey was going to be around two hours. They knew it was night when Dumbledore dropped off Harry but they didn't know the exact time, so they planned on being early and to keep an eye out.

The first time they passed Privet Drive 4 in their van, Millie recognized the cat that sits particularly still on a wall and tried hard not to floor the gas and get the hell out of there. Dudley kept a hand on her arm and she started to breathe again

"What was that?" he asked.

"That cat. The cat was Professor McGonagall. She's already watching, so we can't stay here."

"Don't worry", said Dudley, "there should be a pub just two roads over where we can wait out the evening. We'll walk by later at night. I know Dad didn't find him until the morning."

For all the fretting they did, it actually went off without a hitch. They spent a nice afternoon around the town, Dudley showing her the sights, not that there were a lot of them, but he pointed out the school, the playground, and a lot of the things that only made sense in a nostalgic way. In the evening they had dinner at the pub and Millie took out the old notebook and went over the protection charms again.

When the lights in the street went out, they both held their breath. Dudley felt as if he had only started to breathe again after they had finally left the pub.

They tried to keep their walk casual in case anybody was watching, but Privet Drive seemed deserted. Millie let out a slight gasp when she saw the basket on the front steps of number four. She nodded to Dudley and they made their way over, still casual, maybe a bit nosy, passers-by.

Millie took out her wand and with a deep breath started the charm. At her nod, Dudley pricked his fingertip and left a little speck of blood on the doorjamb. When Millie finished a warm feeling settled over both of them and nodding to each other, Dudley picked up the basket and they made their way to the van.

Somewhere near Watford Harry woke up. He looked around and started to cry. Millie took Harry from the basket between them. "Shhh, little darling, don't cry. Your mum and dad had to leave, but you have us now."

When Dudley had finally found a place to stop for a while, Millie peeled up her sweater and her t-shirt and put Harry to her breast where he started drinking after a moment's confusion.

Millie smiled at Dudley's look. "Wizarding children are nursed until they are two. The mother's magic protects the child. And it's a simple charm to start the milk."

Dudley leaned over and kissed her neck. "You are brilliant, you know that, right?" He looked down at Harry. "Right now I'm jealous of you, Harry."

"Prat"

"Sorry, Millie. You have a great new mum, Harry, don't worry. It'll all turn out right."


	8. Repercussions

Harry slipped into their lives seamlessly. He did cry a bit for his mum, but Millie managed to calm him down easily enough. On the second evening with him, he didn't even complain when Dudley sang him to sleep in his new bed.

"He's such a good kid." said Dudley coming down. "I'm really growing to hate my parents."

Millie nodded distracted. She was reading the _Daily Prophet_ with a frown.

"What's up?" asked Dudley as he noticed.

"I wonder why they caught Black so easily." she mused.

"Black? Sirius Black? Harry's godfather?" asked Dudley.

"Yeah. Wait. He's Harry's godfather? How do you know that?"

"Harry spent his summers with him. After he broke out I mean. And he threatened my parents with him. 'You know Black?' he said, 'the murderer? He's my godfather. And he likes me and looks after me. So you better treat me right.' Something like that."

"That's interesting. Why would Harry be friendly with the guy who gave his parents to V?"

"You're right. There's something fishy about that. I think there was something about a rat his friend had. The ginger one." said Dudley after a moment. "Want to do something about it? Or Better: What could we do?"

"We could write a few letters." thought Millie out loud.

"Can we do that without being tracked down?"

"I can't. But you don't have a magic signature. If you type up the letters, I think we could send them the muggle way. And I know one or two more letters we should send."

And that's what they did.

The Prophet had a large headline a few days later. "Last Death Eaters caught at the Longbottom Farm – Crouch Jr. and LeStrange killed during the fight."

Millie smiled satisfied, her warning was heard.

Four weeks later the headline was even larger: "Sirius Black exonerated. True murderer caught."

"What do we do, if he comes here?" asked Dudley.

"Who?"

"Black. He must know now that Harry is not with my parents."

"Actually I don't think so. The protection blocks all wizards and witches from approaching the house. Same as here." said Millie.

"How about the ones without magic? Squids?"

"Squibs. They might be able to come close. Why?"

"Because there was one in the neighbourhood. But I'm not sure she's there already. She used to babysit Harry."

"Hmm." Millie shrugged. "We'll deal with it, when it happens. But as long as the protection works, neither Dumbledore nor Black can come here."


	9. Time

When Harry was two, the adoption was finally done. It had been a huge amount of paperwork and multiple visits from social workers, and the temptation to use magic was at times almost overwhelming but they managed and in July of 1983 Harry Evans was finally and legally Millicent and Martin Evans' son.

When Harry was three, Dudley found out why Millie had been so keen on living in Willingham. She had joined a reading club that met weekly and a few weeks after joining another young mother came visiting. Mother and daughter were introduced as Eleanor and Hermione Granger. Millie had offered to babysit the girl, as Eleanor was keen on going back to work in their dental surgery.

When Harry was four, Dorothy Evans was born. Harry was a proud and helpful big brother.

When Harry was five, Sirius Black called. He had been searching for Harry ever since a year earlier Mrs. Figg had moved to little Whinging and reported that Harry was not at Privet Drive. They met and after a long afternoon they agreed that Black could meet with Harry every few weeks, going out with him in the company of one of the Evanses.

When Harry was six, Hermione had her first case of accidental magic. She had thrown a tantrum when a teacher had confiscated a book from her for not being age-appropriate. The book had hit the teacher over the head and flown back into Hermione's hand. Harry told the story when they came home after school with tear tracks on Hermione's face. The explanations for the Grangers at dinner were long and complicated but in the end, after a demonstration, Hermione's parents accepted that their little girl was special and so was her best friend.

When Harry was ten, they sat down with him and talked about his first parents and how they died. They talked about the legend of Harry Potter and how the wizarding world would receive him. Harry wasn't very keen on the idea and was very glad that he would be "Harry Evans". The only thing that made him sad was that he would have to hide his scar. He liked the scar. It always made him the best pirate at the playground.

When Harry was eleven the Hogwarts letters came for both of them. They celebrated with Hermione and her parents. The trip to Diagon Alley was remarkable only for Hermione's enthusiasm at _Flourish and Blott's_ and the expressions on both children's faces as they held their wands for the first time.

* * *

And then the Hogwarts Express pulled away from King's Cross.

"Did we do it right?" asked Millie. "We should have done so much more. He's still carrying that thing. We have just a few leads on the other pieces, and –"

Dudley put one arm around Millie and the other on his daughter's shoulder.

"He has a friend who's with him, he has parents who love him. He's a scrappy boy who knows how to have fun. Both our children know we will always have their back. We did good."

He turned them around and took their hands.

"Let's go home", he said.


End file.
